July 9, 2014 at 12:12 pm | Dating | No comment
The idea of starting to date after a divorce is enough to make a grown woman break out in hives. A divorce is a traumatic event and will take time to not only recover but to decide that you are ready for a new relationship. Especially if you are coming out of a log marriage, it can be overwhelming to consider going on a date with someone new. How can you survive the new world of dating after your divorce is final?
1. Are you ready to start dating? Just because you are divorced, you don’t have to jump right back into dating. Give yourself time to move through the stages of grief before even considering entering the dating world. When you have reached the point of forgiveness for your ex, then you will know you are on the road to recovery. Once the idea of dating doesn’t make you want to run and hide, then you are more than likely ready to start dating.
2. It’s ok to be afraid. Someone once said that courage isn’t the absence of fear – it’s the knowing you’re afraid and doing something anyway. Dating after divorce requires courage of a whole different level. How do you let people know that you are ready to start dating? It is perfectly normal to be anxious about dating again – start slowly. Tell a few close friends that you’re looking to meet someone new start going to parties or social events – don’t feel like you need to be in a rush.
3. What are you looking for? Determine what you’re looking for before you begin dating. Are you looking for another long term relationship? Do you just want to meet some new people or have fun? Once you can identify what you’re looking for, you will be able to steer your dating choices towards that goal. You may change your mind after a while, so remember to re-evaluate your dating goal periodically.
4. Join the media revolution. Chances are good that online dating wasn’t an option when you first started dating. Now, it is a primary means of meeting and getting to know people who have similar interests. Check out one of the reputable online dating services to give you the opportunity to meet potential dates. A great way to avoid the awkwardness of meeting someone in a coffee shop or bar, online dating gives you a safe way to narrow down the options.
5. Date around. Finding the courage to date again can make you feel like the first person you date should just be the next relationship. Don’t fall into this trap! Date a few people and get an idea of what you want in your next relationship. Be upfront with the people you’re dating – let them know that you are seeing other people casually.
Dating after divorce is a nerve-racking experience. The most important thing to remember is to be yourself – take this opportunity to explore new activities and meet new people. There is life after divorce – it may take time, but it will happen.