November 21, 2014 at 4:49 pm | featured | 44 comments
Your boyfriend has left you and is not relenting. You have perhaps done something so wrong that he had to desert you, or you feel that the spark between you two has vanished somewhere.
Now you can either sit back and repent or take a positive step and make an endeavor so that he regrets leaving you at all. After all, you were together for months or years, and shared days of happiness and warmth. It cannot altogether disappear from his memories.
There is a great chance he will regret your absence if you play the game and in the right manner. Below are a certain pointers that should help you achieve your goal.
You may feel that he has vented his feelings and reason for your separation to everyone he has met, but it may not be the case. Thus, it is better to reserve your emotions and not share it with mutual friends.
This is especially when you feel you were in the wrong and the main reason for the breakup. Be generous and let him get over the angst.
Take things slowly. When you let him by himself, without bothering him now and again, he will slowly, but surely, begin to miss you. The reasons for your separation will suddenly feel frivolous to him.
Try and sincerely avoid all contacts; whether on Facebook, mails, texts or phone calls. When you reinforce the fact that this time you are avoiding him, he will be tilted to feel your absence.
Carry on with your daily work; your vocation. Indulge in pastimes that you normally do.
Meet mutual friends with as much regularity as you would before breakup. He will get to know and feel that you are not perturbed in your life and your wholesomeness will make him regret letting you go.
Post breakup, there is generally a period when there is too much angst and anger. Remember not to pursue him in any way in that time period. Accord him his time and space.
Let him gather his emotions. He will begin to realize that your company and love was a positive addition to his life and still can be.
Whenever you get in contact with him (say, if you work in the same company or at a mutual friend’s party), show that you are having a great time.
Mingle with friends and try to get in long conversation. Avoid talking in monosyllables if you may. He will feel piqued inside by this positive attitude and realize that you have value. After all, you have taken this ‘hiccup’ (separation) with relative ease.
Let him feel that you are not missing him, or are not going overboard to contact him. When he finds that you are happy without him, he will realize that all the same, he is not quite happy with you. That is when he will rue leaving you and that is how you win him back.
You may arrange for a gift to be delivered to him under a different name. However, make it a point to leave a text bearing your signature tune; say, your favorite line so that he knows it is you and not somebody else.
Let the gift be something he cherishes but doesn’t have, for instance, a Casio Synthesizer or training shoes.
Mutual friends will anyway play a big part in bringing you together. They will keep suggesting to him, as to you how good you both looked together.
They will come up to sort out your differences. While you should not patronize this attitude of theirs, you shouldn’t also request them to stop their endeavor. Play neutral. Sometimes, a third person’s angle is more fruitful.
They have a tendency to make you sad, lonely and jealous (especially if you feel he has left you for another girl). Believe in your personal value, in the power of your love and trust that he will also feel its pangs.
Once a fortnight has passed without any advance from your end or his, gift him the card which suggests why you should be together (after the No Contact period). Rest assured that all this time, he has already assessed his situation and the absolute worth of you. Keep it crisp.
Tell him about your common memories in an indirect way. This will suggest him that you two should not be away from each other. Give him a chance to return to you with his pride intact. Chances are high that he will want to return into your life.
Once you meet (ensure that you meet at a fresh place), don’t start with the breakup issues, start fresh, forgetting the past misgivings.
There is no point bringing out where you erred and where he did. Both of you have follies (it is human to have follies) so promise each other that you will accept each other’s weakness as it is. Let life begin afresh and together.
There are many relationships which break up for good because the attempts at restoring the relation were too flimsy or dramatic. It is better to use your head and let his conscience make a decision. Don’t shove it on him by calling or texting him endless number of times. Be positive and let him think freely.
Can you share with me, what tactics did you used to make your ex boyfriend be regretful about your breakup?