July 21, 2014 at 4:40 pm | Marriage | No comment
We all know that trust and respect are important aspects of a relationship, but did you know they may be the most important ingredients to a healthy, long lasting love life?
It’s true, and you can’t have trust without respect or respect without trust.
Why is this? It’s simple.
Ask yourself if you can trust someone that you don’t respect? No. If you don’t respect the decisions, intelligence, relationships and career of the person you love, how can you trust them to have your best interests in mind? How can you expect them to know what would be best for you?
Likewise, if you don’t trust your mate, how in the world can you respect him or her? Trust breeds respect.
It’s critical to understand this important concept because you need to know if your relationship is worth fighting for. You also need to be able to determine if your loved one will consider you worth fighting for as well.
Does he respect you? Does he trust you? If not, eventually he will figure this out and realize that the relationship is not bringing out the best in either one of you.
So, how do you determine if your relationship has the love and respect it needs to not only survive, but to flourish?
First, you do a self inventory and determine if you are living up to your full potential. Are you honest with your mate about where you go and how you spend your money? Do you tell the truth about your feelings and fears? Have you hidden things from him that you fear will make him leave the relationship, possibly past mistakes you have made or relationships you’ve been in?
If you find areas in which you have not been completely forthright, come clean with your mate and let him know you were just scared to show him all your flaws but you now want to be altogether honest and transparent.
After doing this self-inventory, determine for yourself the areas in which you need improvement. Make yourself an honest, trustworthy person that is worth fighting for, and then determine whether or not your significant other has a genuine, honest and authentic character that you want to share your life with.
It has been said that honesty is the number one most important determinant of a successful, long lasting relationship, and I believe this is true.
If you are both credible, dependable people, the mutual respect for each other will easily follow. Learn to show this respect for yourself and your lover in concrete, discernible ways.
Show respect for yourself by having high standards for how you expect to be treated. You deserve to be spoken to in a respectful manner. You deserve to be kept abreast of what’s going on in the other’s life and schedule, to a certain extent.
You deserve to have an appropriate level of privacy and independence. Make sure you are getting all of these things and more. Then, just as importantly, make sure you are giving this same respect to your partner.
If you can get and keep your partnership to a certain level of mutual trust, honesty and respect, you will have a relationship worth fighting for no matter what kind of hardships come your way.