According to Mark Leary, Ph.D., a professor of neuroscience and psychology at Duke University, rejection and pain are part of human life. The importance of rejection is being missed and people tend to focus more on the pain of rejection and separation.
Though it is true that these things are important, it still cannot be denied that sudden rejection and separation can still cause deep pain.
When individuals feel completely devastated by relationship coming to a bitter end, they tend to feel mixed of negative emotions. There are lots of how’s and whys and admittedly, losing that special man is truly painful and heartbreaking.
Of course we also need to face the fact that some relationships are not really meant to last forever.
There are inevitable instances that you will have to face a sad truth of losing connection and communication with a man you used to be with.
Breakup is never a joke. Some individuals (mostly men) even take years to forgive and forget and this seems to be a major struggle that one needs to overcome and survive no matter what. So why do breakups hurt?
The Reasons Behind Deep Pain Due to Breakup
• Can’t Stand the Fact of Losing Someone Who Means a Lot to You
Breakup hurts so much because of the physical and emotional attachment. Also, breakups sometimes become too painful to handle for the mere fact that you cannot stand the fact of losing someone precious to you, who was “given” to you — (the Rule of Rarity by Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D.)
Breaking up clearly means that the person you love will no longer be in your life. This is one of the reasons as to why do breakups hurt. You will no longer have access to his thoughts, opinions, experiences, mimics, unique personality and activities that both of you used to do. The realization of his absence make breakups so painful.
• Clueless on When You Will Love Again
Breakup also hurts because this makes you feel and think like you can never find a man who can make you happy like your ex boyfriend actually did.
Even if the reason for the breakup is clear and you two no longer made each other happy, going on separate ways still hurts. Until the time you will love again, there’s a part of yourself wondering if this new guy can also make you as happy as your ex boyfriend. (if you chose to move on)
• Nothing and No One Compares
You have probably had many cherished experiences and happy moments with him that is why breaking up and loosing that special guy, hurts so much. Breaking up with someone is difficult especially if nothing or no one really compares and as time goes by it becomes harder. Of course after a certain period of time you can forgive and love again.
• It Hurts Being Alone
Bad or good, he has become a big part of your life and you have shared so many things and moments with him. You always envisioned “us” and not “just me” so breakup also hurts because this means being alone again. In a snap, there will no longer be “us” and all that’s left is “just me”. Count this for another reason as to why do breakups hurt.
It is true that breakup is a painful experience but do not allow this pain to stay in your life for the longest time. There are ways to cope with the pain, then to get him back and ways to eventually help you move on and be able to love again.
Also, it is not right to feel just the pain; you can still feel grateful because sometime in your life, true love happened. But if you think that he is worth fighting for, we can help with that.