August 20, 2014 at 11:19 am | Breakups | No comment
One of the biggest challenges in life is to let a relationship go. No matter what happened, learning to accept it’s over is often difficult. Your partner may have been a spouse, your first love, or the one that got away.
In spite of the fact the relationship is over, some people find it very difficult to get past the hurt and break the connection they once had with their previous partner. Moving on may be the hardest thing they will ever have to do.
Recovering from the immense pain and sadness of a broken heart is no picnic. When two people fall in love, they want it to last forever and honestly believe it will.
But when the relationship doesn’t last, the pain can be overwhelming and the future seem hopeless. What’s more, if the person who can’t let go continues to relive the devastating pain of the breakup, may end up in a vicious cycle of despair and misery.
Just because a relationship has ended, doesn’t mean the feelings are going to disappear overnight. The aftermath of a breakup can leave you feeling rejected, angry, grief-stricken, lonely, and empty.
In fact, you may call your ex repeatedly or contact your ex’s friends in an attempt to maintain some sort of connection to them. This is a natural human reaction to a lost love. And while it’s understandable, it will prevent you from healing and moving on with your life.
In order to get your life back on track, you must close the door to your past – or you will never have a future. You cannot live in the past if you want to ever be happy again.
What happened is over. No amount of wishing or wanting is going to change or undo what’s been done. The sooner you can accept this, the sooner you will find peace.
For Your Sake Put the Past Behind You
In order to experience a sense of closure, you must let go of the desperate feeling that you can’t survive without your ex partner. Negative feelings such as guilt, failure, resentment, and anger must be addressed and effectively managed.
While it’s normal to feel this way under the circumstances, it should only be temporary. Continuing to hold on to these bad feelings not only keeps you from healing, it also destroys any chance of you ever being happy again and living a rich full life.
Why Self Worth is so Important After a Breakup
Many times when a relationship comes to an end, one or both people adopt an attitude of failure and low self-esteem. They base their self worth on the success or failure of the relationship.
This is extremely damaging in terms of your emotional state of mind. Never should a person determine their own self worth by measuring themselves against another person.
By learning to love yourself unconditionally, you will be able to survive a devastating breakup or anything else life throws at you.
Starting the Healing Process by Moving On
While there’s no way to magically and instantly stop the hurt and pain of a lost love, there are indeed several ways to heal yourself. Focus on changing the things you can, and let go of what you cannot.
– Stop all communication with your ex (unless you have kids). Refrain from calling, texting, and following them. Harassing them and trying to maintain contact keeps you bound to the pain.
– It’s over, done, finished – it’s history. Stop beating yourself up over whose fault it was, what you could have done better, and generally blaming yourself.
Forgive the other person and yourself to find happiness again. The better you feel about yourself, the easier it will be to move on.
– Get out there and start mingling with other people. Remember when you used to have fun? And when you do start dating again, never talk about your ex and the details of your relationship and/or breakup.
You’re out on a date. This could be the start of a wonderful new relationship. Why are you dredging up the past? Leave your cares behind – this is a new day.
Healing Takes Time
Give yourself enough time to heal your broken heart. Being happy with who you are will allow you to feel joy with someone new.
Moving on can be painful, but the good news is you will discover who you are in the process and eventually find someone even better. Hang on. You’re worth it.