Three Vaccination Against a BreakUp

March 31, 2016 at 9:33 am | Breakups | No comment

Apology and Forgiveness are key elements in a relationship.

Apology and Forgiveness are key elements in a relationship.

No relationship rolls along without any bumps in the road. Once a crisis presents itself, couples discover pulling the relationship out of a downward spiral proves supremely difficult. Partners can take simple steps to smooth things out lowing the risk of an explosive end to the relationship.

Though the steps sound easy, couples need to invest time and energy if they seek a perpetual trajectory. Let’s see what they need to pursue.


#1 Communication

The cornerstone of every relationship, personal or profession, rests on being able to communicate.


When approaching any problem, couples find most of the issues tie back to how they communicate. A simple process exists to get couples on the same page while strengthen the relationship as a whole. Breaking them into pieces will demonstrate their importance and how they help couples moving forward.


Listening: Individuals always think they are excellent listeners. Unfortunately, active listening requires more than not talking. To listen, the couple will need to maintain eye contact, confirm the message being received and ask key questions. It is also important not to interrupt the person speaking too frequently.


Sharing: The other side of communication means sharing things as well. A less forceful person might hold things close rather than offering thoughts, feelings and dreams to their partner. A lack of emotional honesty and parting of the veil makes both people feel isolated.


Communication is a give and take. Both people need to feel seen and heard. Those who do not feel that connection will seek it elsewhere.


#2 Apologize Sincerely

Behind communications, couples who last are able to apologize to one another.


This is more than a quick “I’m sorry” to move things along. The party who has been hurt needs to share they have been harmed and how it makes them feel. Once aware of the offense, the other person should communicate their understanding of the situation, their pain over having hurt the other person and how they intend to address this in the future.


Apologies can be one of the most challenging things a couple can face, even those who have been together for a long time. Those capable of mastering sincere apologies last far longer than those who hold onto resentment and pain letting it fester and seethe.


Also, an honest, heartfelt expression trumps a perfect execution every time.


#3 Doing Stuff Together

This step, similar to the first two, sound surprisingly simple and obvious.


Unfortunately, couples with longer relationships point to a lack of mutual interests, adventures and surprises. Activities done together bond couples giving them a shared language. They can recall a time they went somewhere, played a game or even did something they never thought they would do.


Here are some things to consider when planning an activity.

* Small Works: Simple things can carry as big an impact as the largest all day adventure.
* Get Out of Town: Even a day trip to a national park can break a routine and put a couple on a path to discovery.
* Indoor Playtime: Doing a puzzle, having a picnic on the floor or playing a childhood board game adds a sense of play and gets everyone off their electronic devices for a little while.


All of these items place the couples in front of one another. When couples share space, they will end up sharing other things too.


They meld together in a healthy way where they can communicate deeply, ask for honest forgiveness and develop a unified history. All they will need to invest is time and effort.

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