February 26, 2017 at 1:00 pm | Science | No comment
Have you ever thought why you’re ex boyfriend does not seem very affected and overwhelmed as you after your breakup? Let’s look on the reasons together and find the answers to this question of yours.
“Does he love me?” This is a popular questions I usually hear from several women after breakup. The answer to this question is actually not that hard. This is because men don’t want to show their feelings in front of others.
Men may be shy, they maybe restless and may be worried with other stuffs. There are many reasons why men fail to express their feelings wholeheartedly, however, keep in mind that you can’t control how individuals are programmed.
It is even harder when somebody expects you to talk or communicate in a particular way, when it is not how you were programmed to take action, hence the question about some women wanting their man to be open with their emotions and feelings.
Men were programmed in a different way than women. Men were told by our society not to express feeling and told by their parents to become brave and not to cry. Even if the line among genders is getting blurry, a lot of men feel they need to act in a specific way to keep their masculinity.
When women complain about their guys being indifferent or too cold, they are not asking them to express their feelings or emotions. They are demanding that these guys show affection. There’s a clear difference between these two, yet guys still get the character of being hardhearted mound of stone. (I know that's a bit harsh but sometimes you experience it like that)
That is simply because affection is an expression of feeling and emotion. When this feeling is not present, women right away are thinking that her man has no emotion. How can he be like that? Right?
Well, simply because we men are not willing to express our feelings it doesn’t mean that we don’t care about you. The normal condition of our mind draws us to express the feeling as it assists in our continued existence. When a man is truly emotionless, he is either showing sociopathic behavior or “he’s” a robot.
In Men’s health publication a research shows that men have a high pain threshold compared to women. (just hold on for a minute...)
What is more, they also discovered that women were more possible to go to the doctor even for mild aches and pains when guys didn’t. This would show that we men are more able to tolerate pain with emotional suppression, than women. For you it comes much easier to externalize your feelings.
The reality is that, guys continuously show their feelings and emotions, on a much lower scale. You need to read between the lines. But of course, this is not what women look forward to.
Admittedly, a lot of people are breaching the lines and relieving them of the condition. On the other hand, the reality remains that a lot of women are still thinking why can’t guys just change and be more expressive?
My advice: don't try to swim against the current of the river. Instead "...be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." (Jesus said that, not me) Not that I'm a religious person, just that fraction of a quote can prove my point here.
Men are Hesitant to express and show affection
Why a lot of men act like they don’t care after a breakup? Study shows that guys were prudent of women who persisted that they express their true emotions and feelings. The main reason is that if men express their feelings, their girlfriends failed to get the gesture positively. A lot of women don’t know how to manage emotional guys, yet still they insist openness, and normally aren’t prepared for the fallout.
Take for instance, when a guy cries. Normally this just happens in extreme emotional conditions. Girls ask for guys to say: “I Miss you.” They are not often ready for a guy who says: “Please help me.”
I hope this article can give you an insight why men act like they are not affected with the breakup. The reality is that they are affect deeply. They are just not showing it in a form that you would like to see.