March 20, 2014 at 1:14 pm | Ex Back | No comment
If you’re a female desperately trying to get your ex back, it’s likely you’re taking a needy approach that’s making you do things you normally wouldn’t do. Sound familiar?
Don’t be too hard on yourself though, we’ve all been there. You will survive this and come out better on the other side. In the meantime, this out-of-character, desperate behavior is only pushing him farther away and making you look like a doormat in his eyes.
Stop this dead-end behavior and try the following approaches instead to win him back and grow even closer than before with your dignity intact.
1. Don’t argue with him as to why the relationship ended no matter how difficult it may be. If he brings it up, just listen to him and do not disagree. Perhaps there’s some truth to what he is saying? Be the bigger person and acknowledge his point and simply apologize.
Would you rather be 100% right, or reconcile your relationship? Here’s a clue – rarely is someone ever 100% right about anything. As long as you know the truth, that’s all that matters. If you’re in the wrong, a little humble pie goes a long way.
2. Don’t point out all the reasons why he can’t live without you. Men don’t like it when women try to persuade them to do something they’re not ready to do. Begging him to come back only reinforces why he can in fact live without you very nicely. Keep in mind that desperate and needy are natural men-repellents.
Men are attracted to confident women who are happy. Remember, you’re a catch. You’re a prize. Any man would be lucky to have you. So don’t waste your time trying to convince any man to be with you. You are your own person.
3. Taking responsibility for the breakup on your part is a huge deal. Is it really fair to blame the whole thing on him? The answer is likely no although your ego probably begs to differ.
As the saying goes, “It takes two to make it and two to break it”. If you were being totally honest with yourself, surely there were some aspects of the relationship you could have handled better.
4. Wait and let him contact you. A man (the hunter) places value on something he has to work for. Don’t make things too easy for him. Rather than calling him in a moment of weakness, call a friend instead to express your feelings. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and eventually he’ll wonder what you’re up to. He will contact you for one of the following reasons:
a. He’s curious how you’re doing without him and wonders what you’re up to
b. He wants a booty call whereby you should politely turn him down (you’re broken up, remember?)
c. He genuinely misses you and wants to see you
Only agree to see him and talk if the reason is letter c.
5. Make yourself priority number one. Put yourself first for a change and only worry about you. When he approaches you, don’t try to pick up where your relationship with him left off.
Show him you’ve evolved both mind and spirit since you were last together. And above all else, don’t let him convince you that you’re the sole reason for the breakup. Who started it is irrelevant at this point. How you both handle things from here on out is what matters now.
One last thing, and please be totally honest. Is he 100% worth getting back? Is really worthy of you? Simply put, you deserve nothing but the best.