September 22, 2016 at 3:02 pm | Ex Back | No comment
Everyone who’s gone through a bad breakup has wondered…
“Can I get my ex back? Do I have a chance?”
That’s a heartbreaking question to ask, especially when your heart is already broken into a million pieces from the breakup.
But it’s important to know what to expect from a breakup – so that you can at least have your expectations in order to keep your emotional balance under control.
The truth is, a lot of the time, it is possible to get back together with your ex.
And some of the time, the situation is just too toxic and dysfunctional, and you’re both better off apart.
In this article, I want to detail the biggest signs that it’s realistic for you and your ex to get back together.
That way, you know whether it’s realistic (or a good idea) for you and your ex to get back together, and you can have a realistic expectation of what will happen a week, a month, or six months after the breakup.
Ready? Here are the top signs that you can get your ex back:
This is a simple sign, but one that’s definitely worth mentioning.
If you’re both single and out of relationships, it’s much easier for you to get back together.
However, if they’re dating someone else, it’s not good news for your chances at getting back together, UNLESS…
Unless they’re in a rebound relationship.
If they’re in a rebound relationship, that means that they’re trying to bury the pain of the breakup by dating someone else quickly after the relationship ended.
However, this is not an effective strategy at getting over someone. Most of the time, a rebound relationship will only highlight the differences between the person they’re dating and you.
Rebound relationships will often make your ex miss you even more.
So if they’re not dating anyone, or if they’re seeing someone but it’s clearly a rebound relationship, that’s a good sign that you can get back together. Even if it doesn’t seem like it.
There’s a good rule to remember here.
In most cases, the longer you were together, the better your chances at getting back together are. The shorter your relationship, the less likely it is you get back together.
The reasoning here is that the longer you were together, the closer you two grew to each other. If you were in a long relationship, your emotional intimacy is stronger than if you were in a short relationship.
That emotional intimacy is what makes it more likely that you’ll get back together. For more on this, check out this article I wrote on the subject.
Relationships end for many different reasons. But some reasons are more toxic than others.
Did you break up because one of you cheated? Or because you stopped being physically intimate with each other? Or because you became codependent and the relationship became unhealthy?
Any of those reasons is a sign that you probably won’t get back together. Any relationship that ends with that amount of toxicity and tension isn’t likely to return.
However, if you broke up because one of you had to move away and now you’re back in the same place… that’s a sign you can definitely get back together.
The rule of thumb here is, if the relationship ended because of tension and negativity in the relationship, it’s hard to get back together.
And most of the time, relationships end because of circumstances in the relationship.
However, sometimes a relationship will end because one person moves far away, and they are unable (or unwilling) to continue the relationship long distance.
If your relationship ended for a similar reason, that’s a good sign that the connection and chemistry between you and your ex is still strong, and that you can get back together.
Relationships can end for one of a million reasons… but a lot of the time the reason a relationship ended is because of behavior from one or both partners that becomes intolerable.
Whether it was from immaturity, or selfishness, or lack of empathy, toxic behavior has ended countless relationships.
If, after the breakup, both of you have grown as people, that’s a good sign that you can get back together.
The best way to determine whether this applies to your relationship is to examine the reason why it ended and think about whether this time will be any different.
Have you or your partner grown or changed since the breakup in a way that would have saved the relationship had you stayed together?
It’s definitely something to think about, especially if you really want to get back together. After all, if you both haven’t moved past the issues that tore your last relationship apart, it’s unlikely that your next relationship will last.
This is one of the most important factors when it comes to getting back together with your ex.
If you haven’t both completely forgiven each other for everything that happened in the breakup, then reconciliation can’t happen.
Relationships need a “fresh slate” to survive. If you can’t start off with your ex in a fresh situation, then getting back together is doomed from the start.
Truly forgiving each other means not feeling resentful of anything your ex did in the past and moving beyond it. If you’re going to bring up their past mistakes the first time you fight, it means you haven’t forgiven each other.
But if you’ve both truly forgiven each other, that provides the right situation to get back together – and means that your new relationship just might last.
About Nick Bastion:
Nick Bastion is a dating and relationships expert with over 10 years of experience helping men and women have the love lives they’ve always wanted. You can find more of his writing at Vixen Daily in the Love and Relationships section.