November 20, 2014 at 2:01 pm | featured | No comment
Did you break up with your ex-boyfriend recently and missing him already? As you know you can’t contact him until the No Contact period ends, but after that it’s a different story.
If you don’t hear from him after you initiate contact with him, at the end of the NC rule, you have a few options.
His silence can have many reasons and can happen in many cases, so please don’t panic.
Take some time off (5-6 days) after your first contact.
Of course you can’t sit with your hands folded and wait for him to get back to you. You can contact him.
You need to make sure you do it in a way that does not upset him further or make it appear that you are really desperate to have him back (even if you are).
So let’s see 5 ways to get a response from him.
Here the reason is not important. Keep it simple – “Hi, I wanted to thank you. Thanks. Will talk soon”. This will make him curious as to what you want to thank him for.
Chances are pretty high that he may take this as an opportunity to call or maybe text you back. You can then tell him you’re sorry for being way too emotional after the breakup, but after a while you realized that the separation was actually a good idea …you are at peace with it now.
This is counter-intuitive but it will show him your independence and that you’re moving on with your life at same time. By letting him know that you’re fine without him, he will begin to really feel that he’s loosing you for good.
And the only real remedy for that kind of fear is to get back with you. Remember that the idea of reconciliation must come from him.
Send him a simple message saying that all your common friends have decided to meet at a pub (it can be the pub where you felt something for him the very first time) – “Hey guys, let’s all meet at 10 pm at Manchester Pub. See you.”
This will make him curious and he may call to ask you what it is all about. You can either explain that it was a group message or give him some important reason why all you friends have decided to meet (maybe it’s someones birthday).
If your luck has it, then he may even show up at the pub.
You can send him a message saying that you cannot find your passport and need his help in finding it. This will work great if you two have lived together or he has spent a lot of time at your place.
This will arouse his curiosity as to why are you looking for a passport all of a sudden. He may also think that you are leaving the city or country altogether. This may result in him calling you and asking for an explanation.
You will then get another chance to start a conversation and catch up with the events happened in YOUR exciting new life.
You can also send him a Facebook message with a sorry note:
“Sorry about not being able to call you back!” This is a quick and simple tactic you can use to rouse his curiosity.
He will be curious to know which call you did not return and in the pursuit, he may even call you back. You can then explain him that your apology was for all those times when you were too busy with your life and did not take his call or whatever form of communication. (if he indeed called or contacted you before)
He may riposte by saying that it doesn’t matter anymore. Do not lose your calm! Instead tell him that it is fine if it doesn’t matter anymore. You just wanted to take this opportunity to apologize for all those moments when you hurt his feelings through the breakup.
You emphasize the fact that you still care for him and want him to be happy even if you are not together anymore.
On a deep level this should make him doubt the breakup since now he will see how serious you are regarding the separation.
You can send him a text message reminding him of a particular day which made your relationship more special.
It would be great if you can send him a message telling him, “I just walked by the Renaissance restaurant where we celebrated your product launch. I remember how excited you where. Hope you’re doing great.”.
Chances are he may be touched by the fact that even after breaking up you remember so fondly of those special days that you spent together. Not to mention that he simple can’t block out those memories. Memories that will evoke the nostalgic feelings in him.
He may call you back or make an attempt to show his interest of getting back to you. If he calls back, make sure you are emotionally prepared for the conversation. Be calm, cool, relaxed and friendly. Don’t seem excited to hear from him. You will give away your power.
In order to resort to any of the methods, make sure you always keep the conversation with your ex-boyfriend light and fun. You should not at any point of time bring up your past differences. This may ruin all the possibilities of patching up with him and you may lose him forever.
When he calls you to clarify his doubts regarding any of the above mentioned situations, answer his questions patiently and immediately move on to discuss something else. This may open up possibilities of future communication. He may also realize that the flame indeed can be reignited and he may come back to you for life.
Above anything else, the goal is to raise enough curiosity and to recall memories to make him call/text you and then patch for good. Do not make the mistake of taking it as an opportunity to immediately discuss the breakup issues and lose all chances to get back together ever again.