The first few days-weeks after your breakup are quite harrowing, especially if it comes after a long and fruitful relationship. You feel that the whole world has turned against you.
After a period, a period that can differ from person to person, you begin to observe and analyze the dark cloud around you in better light.
Thankfully, there are lots of silver linings to keep you in good health and hope after breaking up with your boyfriend. A few facts quite positively indicate that there is more than a decent chance of making up with your ex boyfriend, if your relationship checks out in a few criteria.
It will help you to keep your hopes up, keep your “sanity” and sometimes feel relaxed and calm.
Let’s look at a few general indication of the chances of reunion after a breakup. Here is a look at seven such gracious facts:
1. From long term relationships that where based on respect and deep connection are the hardest to move on
If most of the following (not all) is true:
1- you where together for a long time (more than 2 years)
2- you shared a real deep connection
3- you talked and made plans of your future
4- you where/are his stereotype/ideal woman
5- it was a strong emotional bond between you two
7- you two had strong sexual attraction
8- if you been through a lot together
9- if you had similar core values and worldviews
10- and if you didn’t broke the No Contact rule…
…then it’s certain that he misses you so deeply that living without you is a nightmare for him. Even if he’s in a rebound relationship!
2. 71% people keep thinking of their exes
This is a fascinating fact, that can give you hope after breaking up with your boyfriend. Taking the general purview, it is clear that 7 out of 10 people keep thinking of good times shared with their ex even after they are with someone else. They keep looking at shared cards, even online profiles and old emails.
Thus, there is a wonderful chance your ex boyfriend is still fantasizing about you. You just have to wait for a perfect day, usually after the No Contact period, in case if he doesn’t contacts you by then, to start rekindling the flame with him again.
Take your time; don’t hasten. Let him absorb his thoughts and then suggest a meeting based on a good reason. A reason that is related to his ability to help you out with something. A new project of yours, a new business plan, a marketing strategy where he can help you out.
Even if we speak generally about people, they love to help when they are asked because it gives them a sense of worth and recognition. The same is true with your ex boyfriend IF you executed the No Contact rule and the Re-Attraction tactics the proper way.
You can’t bring “chains” and grudges to the first meetup with him. The first meeting is not about discussing your past relationship, but instead to show your value and attractive feminine side combined with your improvements on the issues where he was unhappy. Of course you need to showcase all this in a subtle “in context” way.
3. Singlehood is inertia; people in relationships live happier
When your ex boyfriend broke up with you (for whatever reasons), he became single again.
His singlehood over time can put him into a lonely, and many times a sad state of mind.
A state where even if he has career successes, but deep down he will know and feel that no achievement can replace your warm and kind love.
He will soon begin to miss your company. His angst will start to be more intense as he recalls your beautiful memories. There will be serious thoughts about reuniting with you. This is more so, as statistically proved, if you had a 2-3 year or more relation with him. This can be another glimmer of hope after breaking up with your boyfriend.
4. Divorce rates drop down after the age of 25
It has been found that between the age 20 and 24, 38.8% men divorce. In case of women, the percent is even less – at 36.6 percent. The rate further diminishes between age 25-29 (16.4% women, 22.3% men).
People between age 30-34 divorce even less (8.5% female, 11.6% male). In the next age group, between 35-39, is even less than that: 5.1% women and 6.5% men.
You can also see these numbers in the following chart: http://1.usa.gov/1dMPvI2 (2012, USA)
Therefore, if your ex boyfriend is past 25 (of course better if past 29), he will be less inclined to sever relations with you. In that case, the breakup is most probably temporary.
Your long-term relationship will be a strong bond in your favor. Your ex boyfriend will find it hard to break up with you. People gather experiences of life with age and understand the true value of relations and friends. They are prone to hold them to heart. Further, if you have kids (another strong bond), chances of reunion stand stronger. This can give you hope after breaking up with your boyfriend.
Breakups in younger ages are more permanent since the cords are feeble in most cases and the attraction gets over when the spark dies.
5. Marriages are healthier than living-together relationships
People live-in because they dread the burden of commitments, duties and responsibilities. The financial factor is also there.
Thus, when they are brave enough to marry, it is taken that they wish to take these factors in their stride.
They are less likely to forsake the relation and bear social criticism over a petty matter. Every relation goes through hard times.
It is the strength of relation (formed by each partners character) that prevents the cords from breaking up. If you are married and had a loving and understanding relationship with your ex boyfriend, there is a healthy chance that he wants to return to you.
Of course I am not suggesting that live-in relations cannot be emotionally powerful and have true love.
6. Relationships with good sex have 30% better chance to last longer than relationships with average sex
The sexual element is extremely significant in the nurturing of a relationship between lovers. So, if you liked to ‘do it’ with your ex boyfriend and the enjoyment where quite mutual, you have less to worry about.
Physical intimacy strengthens the bond between lovers; even little gestures like holding hands, patting, touching, hugging or kissing.
Couples who have a good sex life mentally seek each other even after break-up, at least when they feel passionate. So, if you feel you are good in bed, rest assured that he’s also missing the passionate lovemaking with you. Take this as a reason for hope after breaking up with your boyfriend.
7. Higher education may strengthen relationship and marital bonds
The more education you have, the more likely you are to stay together or married, according to marriage and family experts Andrew Cherlin. That makes sense, since if someone is more refined and “polished”, the more chance there is to find a common ground and mutual compromise.
That’s good news for well-educated couples, but not for their counterparts who lack a college education. So I hope that your ex boyfriend is a classy fellow. 🙂
I also want to include the issue of self development and growth here, because besides the classical education a person can change with an impressive rate if he or she has the motivation and the internal desire to be a better person day after day.
…and if your ex boyfriend was not exactly fond of books or opportunities that could expand his consciousness, like you (I hope) then when you will get back together, a serious issues needs to be addressed. Otherwise with time the issue of social misalignment can break your relationship apart.
There you have 7 reasons to have faith in your reconciliation with him, that can give you hope after breaking up with your boyfriend.
Now of course, these facts cannot be generalized. Different things happen to different people. These facts however are sanguine indicators of how well you are placed on a reunion scale.
Analyze your relation with your ex boyfriend, the times spent, the strengths of the cords; the attraction quotient and compare your analysis with the facts. Chances are, you will find some reasons that can give you hope after breaking up with your boyfriend.
You will get a comparative picture of the chances you have of regaining your ex. Two things are to remember: firstly, long-lasting relationships have a more than decent chance of recovery. Secondly, couples who have/had kids have a graded chance of reuniting.