You and your boyfriend have broken up, and you want to know how can you mend a broken heart? Well, answering that is not easy, but using the healing forces of colors can help.
Especially because researchers found that women are more drawn to color than men. Keep in mind, this alone won’t pull you out of the hole you are in, but it may alleviate your breakup pain.
So, after the breakup, I’m guessing, you are probably “in the blues”… Is it because of “the green-eyed monster”? Have you been “red with rage” due to a cheating? Of course, these are rhetorical questions, but I think, you get the point.
As you see, colors have much affinity with emotions. Colors are used to describe feelings and states of mind. This is why researchers say, that colors are psychological experiences. They affect our mood and behavior more than we think. They can change our feelings from sorrowful to joyful, from confusion to clarity, from distress to peace.
You are now probably wondering how color works:
Sevinc Kurt and Kelechi Kingsley Osueke sum it up simply in their research.
According to them: “each color (wavelength) focuses on a particular part of the body, evoking a specific physiological response, which in turn produces a psychological reaction.”
Paint it out!
So how can you mend a broken heart with colors? Well, exactly because color can change our mood, it is useful when you are thinking how to heal after a breakup.
After a soul-crushing split you might feel confused, all kinds of feelings coming at you. You might feel nervousness at times. You might be obsessed with your ex boyfriend. Sometimes even feel, that nothing really matters, and you might fall into a kind of apathy.
Good news is, that colors can help. If you listen to Liane Collot d’Herbois’ suggestions, you can paint these feelings away with the help of colors and painting therapy.
In her book entitled Light, Darkness and Color in Painting Therapy Liane, a significant representative of anthroposophy, describes-prescribes painting exercises for numerous illnesses. They may inherently tell: how can you mend a broken heart.
Let’s see what you can do in the cases mentioned above.
In this case, most importantly you have to find a center in your own soul.You must take a sheet of paper, and just paint out what is in you. Try to find an inner world.
What you need is peace, freedom and your own center within yourself. The color violet can give you that. You could start by painting a violet sea, which is darker near the bottom, and gets lighter as you go up. On a following painting green can come in front of the violet.
It can be something from nature, whatever you like. You can also try painting it in veils. It will be good for you, proposes d’Herbois. So here is my creation 🙂
Violet sea. Designed to calm you down (Painting by László Gyopárd)
This is something, you might easily find yourself in after a breakup. You long for your ex-boyfriend, and your thoughts constantly circle around him. You are probably checking his social media profile rather often.
You wonder, what he is doing, who is he meeting with, and if he still has feelings for you…
According to Collot d’Herbois, an obsessed person’s truth is a half-truth, but they cling to it stubbornly. This half-truth grows on them so, that in the end it almost seems to have a life of its own.
If you think that this is your case, you must paint with viridian green. Paint this color for a long time. Green can give a sense of reality on which one can stand – says the writer.
She also suggests a fun way to get rid of obsession. By objectifying it. This will be efficient when you contemplate upon: how can you mend a broken heart.
Give your obsession a name and a shape and paint it out. You can paint a “rascally elementary being with a large head, a small body, thin limbs and eyes full of mischief” (d’Herbois234).
After painting it out like this, you can order the creature to leave, and go about his own business. This is my version of the creature: 🙂
Viridian green creature. Paint out your obsession. (Painting by László Gyopárd)
Much of apathy is self-pity, assesses the writer. She says, one cannot reach the apathic person with love, because in this case the soul and the spirit are not near.
The apathic person must be roused to movement. An appeal to the senses must be made.This can be achieved by painting vermilion (the great transformer), and after that orange.
When medium carmine enters the picture in the bottom, that will lift up the blood, and give the person an awareness that she is human. It was fun to paint this one too:
Paint with vermilion. It will rouse you to movement. (Painting by László Gyopárd)
Naturally, you don’t count as an apathic patient only due to a breakup, but a sort of depression can come with it.
There is a relationship between depression and color as well. Or more like the lack of it. Steven R. Vazquez writes in his report that people in very depressed states say that everything looks colorless…
Color is life
According to Angela Wright there are four psychologically primary colors and these are:
We also differentiate between warm colors (red, yellow, orange) and cold colors (blue, green, violet). They all have different emotional effects on us. In their effects there are the hints as to how can you mend a broken heart.
Being a warm color, red is extremely powerful. It attracts attention immediately. It has an energizing, stimulating, exciting effect on people. So, it is assumable, that when you are feeling down, weak, powerless – which might very easily be the case after a breakup – you should seek out places where this color is dominating.
Elegant restaurants or coffee houses may have red walls. Meet up with a friend, spend some time there and soak up the energy. But do not dwell too much there – this color’s negative impact is aggression.
Red means excitement. (Source: monterosrestaurant.com – 414 North McArthur Street Elizabeth City, NC 27909)
It is the color of intellectual activity. According to Wright, besides being deemed to lower the blood pressure, it is a soothing, calming color. One can find it in the color of the firmament and the sea. Long walks along the seashore will calm your soul.
Blue is calming.
Yellow puts you in a happy mood. According to researchers this color is the strongest from a psychological point of view. It can very easily help you when you are wondering: how can you mend a broken heart.
It is the color of openness, optimism and friendliness. It will definitely lift up your sorrowful mood in which you have been lingering after your breakup with your boyfriend. Go ahead, change that melancholy to cheerfulness, and paint one of your rooms yellow. By doing so, you will let the sunshine in.
According to Wright, this color is also about self-esteem (Wright, 1998). And as your self-image is in ruins after the split, this color will be beneficial in this sense too.
Yellow will cheer you up.
This is the color of harmony, balance and nature. What better way to fill up with the positive effects of this color than going on an excursion in the woods nearby. The sight of this color combined with the sporty activity will release physical tension and will put you in a good mood.
Green is balancing.
We live in a world where color surrounds us all the time. We can ignore them, or we can discover and embrace their healing effects, it’s on us.
Hope that by now you’ve got inspiration as to how can you mend a broken heart with color therapy. If things are still not looking up, feel free to request an invite for our 1-on-1 coaching service.
D’Herbois, L. C., Light, Darkness and Colour in PaintingTherapy, FlorisBooks, 2000
Kurt, S., Osueke, K. K. (2014). The Effects of Color on the Moods of College Students. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244014525423
Vazquez, S. R., Color: Its Therapeutic Powerfor Rapid Healing. http://journals.sfu.ca/seemj/index.php/seemj/article/viewFile/43/33
Wright, A. (1998). Beginner’s guide to color psychology. London, England: Color Affects.