July 16, 2014 at 2:59 pm | Romance | No comment
Many people believe long-distance relationships don’t work. Regardless of whether this belief is a result of personal experience or an opinion based on viewing other people’s relationships, there is a sub-group of people who will shy away from even trying to make a long-distance relationship work as they are afraid of the heartache that they believe will follow.
Numerous factors make long-distance relationships unlikely to succeed, but motivated couples have figured out the secrets to staying strong, even if they are thousands of miles apart from each other.
Secret # 1 – There is no “normal” relationship.
Forget about thinking that there is a standard relationship type you must aim for. Just as every person is unique, so are the relationships they forge. Some people need to spend time with their significant other in person, while others are happy with a Skype chat every day. There are couples who have to spend time apart for obvious reasons – military deployment, jobs, education – and it is up to each couple to discuss what their goals are for the time they are apart as well as the importance of touching base regularly. These will be different for each couple, but as long as both parties are on the same page, they should be able to get through the time apart.
Secret # 2 – Open communication
Couples find it difficult to talk, especially about tough topics, but it is important to maintain open communication channels. Make sure you have both discussed your expectations from the relationship, as mentioned before, and are on the same page. This conversation won’t be the easiest to have, but not holding back and being honest at this time can help build a solid foundation going forward. Sometimes one person will realize they are putting in more effort, but not voice their concerns, leading to growing feelings of resentment and, eventually, passive aggressiveness. There is no such thing as too much communication, so feel free to experiment with what works for you.
Secret # 3 – There will be uncertainty, but don’t let it stop you
Separation anxiety isn’t just limited to kids and dogs – adults can get it too. When your loved one leaves you after some time together, it is easy to feel uncertain about the relationship, or want to put your life on hold till they visit you again. This only makes you feel worse as you’ll start obsessing over the lack of physical closeness, and question the relationship. The best thing to do once they leave is to jump back into your daily routine, while making sure you talk to them regularly. Make time for local friends and activities as they can help stop you from over-thinking the distance too much.
Secret # 4 – Keep the romance alive
You may be apart, but there is no reason to keep the romance alive – even over a long-distance. Send each other flirty texts during the day, write letters or emails, send each other presents, and remember that just because you’re not in the same city is no reason to stop working on the relationship. Plan trips to spend time with each other, and make an effort, every chance you get, to sweep the other person off their feet.
Secret # 5 – Embrace technology
Almost everyone has a smart-phone, so use that opportunity to schedule lunch dates with each – time zones permitting – where you can have a face-to-face conversation during your lunch break, or at other times throughout the day. Send each other pictures of your daily routine so you can both stay involved in each other’s lives.
Long-distance relationships can be hard on anyone, but these secrets can help you get through the tough times.